Cam Burning House - Scarxred Meaning

Cam Burning House - Scarxred Meaning

Backstory, on my Instagram @scarxredmusic I posted a cover of Cam's Burning House on NYE and today. This song means a lot to me. I feel like I'm the girl who walks away when I'm hurt and burns everything around me down when the fire sets in. I'm like a dragon, I breathe fire and protect my queen at all costs. That could be protecting me or those I love. I will fight for that person in the mirror, and take her to where she belongs if for some reason I feel something isn't right. I am exclusively positive that I will, be greater than what we had built before. Like the saying says, everyone left when I was tearing down the house, what they didn't realize is I was building a mansion... A lot of you left, when I couldn't fight or stick up for myself anymore. I was being abused emotionally and everything I had worked for had been taken from me by a man who knew. He knew what he was doing and has a history of destroying women. It's an abusive song to say the least, the one that replays in my head. There's a reason I promote and record so much music, it's the only outlet I have to show both sides of the situation and the perspectives you can listen to as opposed to reading.

If you follow me on IG, I post a nightly series called You Are Loved. I started this series in 2019 when I felt so alone. I had broken up with my family, because I felt like we didn't get along and was being abused and harassed in the house I was residing in Florida. I had never experienced emotional turmoil or abuse the way you do when, when you just don't understand how people can be so cruel and heartless to other people. I had developed armor and was crying for months feeling like I was I was going through a divorce from my entire life. It was the most brutal experiment I had ever gone through and sometimes, people just truly don't mesh with you and that's what I had never thought of before in my life. It's a difficult topic for me to write about because it was so detrimental to so many people and hurt so many women in the process. I have had to prepare to reach stardom again and deal with the general public. It seems working in some timeline other people press upon me make me feel like I live in a bubble from the outside world. And I'm afraid. I don't ever want to feel ashamed about my work, world, or things I have built for others. I create to fill a void in me and you. I shake like a dog in heat when I can't be there for you. And my communities of women we are building back up again, will prevail. A few men won't stop me from being the best I can be and my past will not define me. Men taking advantage of me and my feminity and strength will no longer have a chokehold over me. That phrase and phase is over. My life is a non disclosure and one day I will walk away from that day. And know that I am okay, I will be okay, and today, I am the way. In my purest form and heart of hearts, this is a new start. Thank you from the depths of my soul.

I love this song for many reasons. I am recently going through who all my ex boyfriends were and recognizing the traits and characteristics of those particular men that made me love them. And how I burnt down houses I wasn't welcome in. What I mean by this, is I'm an Aries. A fire sign, ruled by Mars the God War... There is an intrinsic necessity in me to be around other fire in life. Now, I am not a pyro, I don't like to just burn things down. But I like to see what comes from the ashes. And that's my gift. It has cursed me in many lifetimes, the ability to build quietly and quickly without the repercussions of the outside worlds opinion on my meaning in life. But that day, this one day, I burnt down veise beauty and took it offline. To the detriment of many people in my life. You see, I was in a chokehold of a very abusive and one sided relationship with a man that I had known since I was 18. I knew his friends, I dated one of his friends. I lived with his brother. And I fell hard for this guy. Why? His friend had sexually assaulted me when I was 18 and one of his friends walked downstairs when it was happening. And did nothing. Pretended like it wasn't happening. And I held on to that grief by myself for almost 10 years, until this man that I thought was my long time friend re-entered my life and opened up a boiling wound of dismemberment in my body. My whole body got sick. My mind got sick. My physical appearance diminished, and I entered a state of horrible mental control with my health. I became extremely suicidal and depressed and for years felt there was nothing to live for. I thought this man had been sent to heal me and all my wounds, that he was the destiny in my life. And boy oh boy, was it the opposite. It destroyed me to my very core. Made me feel like I was not only enough, but that I had no purpose or meaning. And I had 100,000 woman relying on me for their beauty needs and everyday mental health checkups and checkins. The internet had provided me a safe haven to share my inner workings with the beautiful women across the world who had supported my brand that I had created from scratch in my kitchen and living room and bedroom, and made me feel as though I was enough. I switched. I went into music and was now surrounded by men. And I was lost.

I've been lost without veise beauty for some time. Ever since that day in April when I woke up and decided I couldn't lie, I couldn't be the woman people looked up to. The pressure? That didn't get to me. Trying to be vegan, the prettiest girl in the room, the most successful, in a relationship, and building out a huge business was what did take it out of me. Without a relationship I feel like I had failed. And I don't fail to fail, I fail to leave the lesson behind and move forward. When I'm writing I always think to myself, don't go to far, people might know who you are. That you have a kind heart, a soft soul, a beautiful mind and a lot of times I hide behind someone else so I don't have to be in the limelight. It stresses me out. Except, except with you. Women have a special way of making you feel okay. Men have a way of protecting you as a friend, and at the very least, can we at least pretend like the internet isn't telling us a whole bunch of crap about the human philosophy of wanting true connecting and being closely tied to one another. I love the feeling of community and talking it out and being side by side with those I love, have come to love, and will continue to love through this lifetime and the next. All my relationships are the same, built on trust and genuine goodness with each other. I would like to reach out to people who have been fans of veise beauty for a long time and congratulate them on winning a prize. We have new releases on the way, but they will not be the veise beauty brand. We will have new brands joining the squad and who knows, maybe your brand may end up working with us as we build out a new approach and way to look at wellness and beauty. I love you all and thank you for your continued support. I am small, compared to a lot of people but I have the work ethic and resiliency to get back up after heartbreak and take the bae way of doing things today. And that's by sharing my heart and soul with you. I hope you find what we do helpful and make you feel not so alone in what you are experiencing. I wish you knew, that one day, you are loved won't just be a phrase you have to repeat to yourself to get through a limiting moment in time, but that one day, you will feel okay, and we're here for it. We're here for the milestones, the memories, the good the bad the ugly, the crying, the terror, the thievery of joy, and the moments we glance back on and say, that was difficult to protect my wellbeing, but one day, after many attempts, I succeeded. I exceed my motives and expectations on a regular basis and I hope to bring that same bravado to our new ventures through veise beauty and other fun experiences. I love you, thank you for tuning in. Angelica Caporuscio <3

Leave a comment